Hell Inn: Rebirth - I Became a Chef in Hell

Chapter 120: First Courtesy, Then Force - S01E05

He: "..."

"Why aren't you saying anything? Hmm? Weren't you supposed to be so quick-witted? Speak up! Why are you mute?"

Seeing that He was once again silenced by your words, and having been annoyed with Him for a long time, your tone finally carried a hint of anger.

"But if you separate me out, you won't have to wait for yourself to die in the future; you'll die immediately."

He raised one eyebrow and said this in a statement of fact.

But thinking about your personality carefully, He suddenly frowned, realizing that you were a crazy woman who might actually do that, and his previously lazy, floating body unconsciously straightened up a bit.

"Heh... yeah, if I die, you bastard won't fare much better. But thinking about it that way, this is a really good deal... I'm even thinking of doing it right now, why don't I just go out and do it this way?"

Your mental state suddenly became strange. You first said a few facts that were related by cause and effect, and then suddenly muttered as if you were possessed.

Just like when you discover that Viya and IMP's little devils have been kidnapped. The complicated relationship between Angel and Valentino, and His endless insults towards Shirley, all make you feel uncomfortable.

Because for you, many things are simply a matter of doing or not doing, and coupled with your serious nature, some things that sound crazy to others often seem true to you. This leads to a terrifying sense that what originally sounded crazy will "come true" to you.

"...Or perhaps we should change the subject."

Out of concern for your mental state, and with a somewhat complicated expression, He reluctantly uttered a few human words.

Completely disregarding his kindness, you turned around expressionlessly and said impatiently without looking back, "Useless trash, if you're afraid of death, don't try to provoke me."

The exit from the place of exile is never certain; you'll likely spend a long time wandering around here searching for a way out.

Because you came in looking rather unpleasant, you were already anxious and frustrated and wanted to leave. But then He, not wanting to miss out on the drama, started fanning the flames next to you.

'You seem to have a good temper, but that's just due to your upbringing. In reality, you have a worse temper than anyone else.'

You remember saying this a long time ago.

That's why you said you're actually a bad person.

If your bottom line is crossed, you will immediately turn your back on them without any room for negotiation, even if it means sacrificing family ties for the greater good.

"...Tch, what an arrogant fool."

Because He is bound to you, He knows that you can be quite rude when you curse, and He let out a very conspicuous sneer.

"Congratulations! Thanks to the fact that you stayed here for a long time, I found something interesting. Would you like to hear it?"

He follows you, and with a wave of his hand, summons a strange audio recording.

'I'm so tired... I just want a chance to die.'

'When...when will all of this finally end?'

'I just wanted to go home, why did things turn out like this?'

Why... is it even possible for the plan to go to heaven to succeed? Why is nothing progressing?

I'm so tired.

'I……'

……

……

The brief inner monologue and the indistinct quality of the voice startled you for a moment.

Words soaked in weariness and sorrow seep into your mind, stirring up your sense of languor.

'Your emotions are suppressed, but when plans stall and countless unexpected factors enter your life, your rationality begins to crumble.'

You cannot fit into hell.

This makes everything you do extremely difficult; Shirley's agreement with you prevents you from smoothly pursuing your goals, and most of the time you can only choose to "avoid" everything.

'In reality, your life isn't bright; your life...most of the time it's depressing, dull, and stagnant.'

'You're not one to wallow in self-pity, but admit it, the tree in your heart is about to collapse.'

“…That’s enough, you…”

Knowing that He had once again bewitched her, the dragon girl frowned deeply.

Although she had grown accustomed to His actions towards her, no one likes having their scars reopened and their messy, bloody wounds exposed to others.

"If you don't really want to live, why don't you just 'die'? If your mind falls into a deep sleep, isn't that a kind of death?"

He brings this audio file close to you and asks you this question in a light, mocking tone.

"Although you always like to say nice things, don't forget that we share the same body. I know exactly what you're thinking deep down."

"Do you find it annoying that I always bring up these things? But don't your words prove it?"

It seems that He, who was dancing in the air, suddenly looks to be in a good mood. He approaches you with a smug smile on his face.

"What a hypocrite, making up so many excuses for himself. In reality, he's just too tired and wants to find a respectable reason to sacrifice himself amidst kind words and the adoration of others."

"But you don't want to die, do you?"

"You won't be resurrected in hell. You have so many ways to die, always saying you're so tired... Even if you're tired of everything, you still live—isn't that because you want to live? And why is that?"

He smiled at you triumphantly, as if he had discovered something particularly worth showing off.

"..."

The person who always spoke of being fearless of death suddenly fell silent.

She pursed her lips and lowered her eyes to look to the side.

Because of everything in hell, because of the lack of understanding of her good intentions, because of the many failures she didn't tell anyone, ■■■ has indeed always been more tired than anyone else.

She had once experienced beauty and happiness, which made the evil of hell particularly cruel to her.

She was willing to admit that the main reason she was unafraid of death was because she didn't want to stay in hell, but she wanted to leave with dignity as a good person.

She did always feel tired and lonely, to the point that sometimes she felt that if she simply closed her eyes forever, it would all end cleanly and decisively.

But she didn't really want to die.

"Don't do that anymore... uh!"

You, wanting Him to shut up, twitched your lips and looked at Him.

But the moment you looked up, He suddenly tapped your forehead with his hand.

A flash of white light appeared from His fingertips. Realizing that the other party had forcibly imposed their power on you, veins bulged on your forehead, and you instinctively threw a punch in His direction—

After feeling the wind that the other party nimbly dodged your attack, you covered your forehead and lowered your face, trying to calm yourself down.

But you failed.

You raise your head and glare at Him, who seems completely indifferent.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Aren't these your own thoughts and feelings that occasionally surface?"

"Since you're leaving, why don't you accept this gift from me? Otherwise, I'll be very sad~"

"..."

……

His voice, which held most of the control over the land of exile, gradually faded into the distance, and you, with your vision blurred, held your forehead with your hand.

Even though you know it's a trick of His, the anger in your heart is inevitably covered by a melancholy blue.

He has started forcibly interfering with your emotional fluctuations again.

"why?"

Why is it that even though someone says they want to die, their inner will to live is stronger than anyone else's?

"Ji Xinglan?"

……

Because I wanted to see Shirley fulfill her wish.

Because I wanted to see Vicky be honest with Shirley.

Because they wanted to save Angel from his suffering.

Because I want to see the demon I care about find happiness, because I want to care about those who are connected to her, and because I want to see those who have cared about me.

You want to ask those people how their day is, and what they want to eat today.

You want to talk to them.

I want to see them.

Although your mouth is closed, your heart has answered His question.

'Yes...why do you feel tired?'

In the hazy, dreamlike state, you furrow your brow and clutch the hair on your forehead.

The feeling of having your innermost thoughts forcibly probed is extremely unpleasant. It's like someone is randomly stirring your heart with an iron awl, causing excruciating pain. Information flows out uncontrollably like blood overflowing from a wound.

'Because you understand that your good intentions mean nothing in hell? Because you know that your very existence is a destabilizing threat to everyone you care about?'

'Because you're alone and helpless, because of your longing to return home, because of your attachment to the human world, because of your...fear of the evils of hell?'

A hint of confusion and bewilderment flashed in your gradually unfocused pupils.

'You've already detached yourself from your emotions, but in the end, it's still the same.'

'Because you're just existing, you're always afraid of your own imagination and the endless unknown.'

You want to rely on someone, but you're always too afraid; because you feel that relying on someone in hell would lead to complete failure, because you yourself are a coward, aren't you?

Why not simply be a kind, albeit occasionally good, bad person like everyone else, instead of choosing to be an outcast, and perhaps even self-righteous, good person?

"Why are you always so cowardly and hesitant? You're utterly foolish! You could have had everything, but you've ruined it all!"

Amidst your self-reproach for your confusion and illogical thinking, the voice of Him, who had forcibly led you into this state through His power in the land of exile, suddenly became clear again.

You lift your blurry eyes and look at Him, who has now transformed into your likeness.

Do you see ■■■? Standing opposite you, angrily accusing you.

"You'd rather be holed up in a stupid woman's hypocritical hotel room dealing with bottles and jars!"

"What's in this ridiculous hellish redemption facility? Apart from the daughter of the King of Hell who can't fight or use her abilities, there's a derelict angel who doesn't know what she's thinking, lies to her lover, and seems to have PTSD from a war veteran."

"A pathetic porn star who sold his soul because of a brief surge of hormones."

"A foolish gambler who was so unlucky that he gave his soul to a madman."

"A sensitive, pathetic creature who can only survive by relying on the approval of others."

"A brat whose brain seems underdeveloped... Oh, and that sinner lord who's passable to some extent, but a fallen, washed-up figure who still has the audacity to be narcissistic—"

"He's not even the strongest of the sinner lords! He's not as good as that old spider, that bitch arms dealer who's raising two daughters, or even that bratty TV kid!"

“He is not even one ten-thousandth as great as the Lord of the Rings, yet you still chose to speak to him as an equal after he offended you several times!”

"Don't you know you can forcibly take his soul? No matter how smart he is, he's nothing more than a self-important dog in your eyes!"

"How does it feel to communicate with insects as a monster that can even take on the entire hell single-handedly?"

■■■？ He laughed maniacally in front of you.

Do you truly understand the power you possess?

"You rely on your own strength to be equal to everyone and above everyone else, but you are also afraid of your own strength."

"You always want to go home, you coward!"

"Because you feel lonely, because you are afraid of being out of place in this hell and ending up all alone."

"You have nowhere else to go."

"Do you really think you can go to heaven? Nobody's coming."

"Just like when you drowned in that sea."

"It's like your hometown leaving you all alone in this hell."

"Just like the name that was taken from you, which can only be sealed away in this land of exile."

"And who would know your real name? And who would care?"

“My dear 'Ji Xinglan'”.

……

She remained silent in the face of His fierce questioning and mockery.

Dragon tears are scalding flames.

She had indeed grown accustomed to the vicious words of her inner demons, and to the seemingly endless despair.

The white robes and long sleeves of the Easterners fluttered lightly in the air.

Caught completely off guard by all of this, [the person in question] simply stood there quietly, tears streaming down her face from her eyes.

She was forced to shed tears once again. Each time the scar was torn off, it clung to her flesh, piercing her heart with each tear.

She knew He would cling to her pain, and even though she warned Him repeatedly that it meant nothing to her and that her resolve would never change, He would still find joy in every moment of her sorrow.

■■■ doesn't like to cry, but the real reason she doesn't like to cry isn't because Golden Tears are hard to deal with, but because after becoming ■■■, her tears are no longer the way they used to be.

Ironically, the only thing she is familiar with now, the only thing that makes her feel safe, is that numb, expressionless face.

"Can't you see it? Your consciousness has been assimilated by hell, and that half of my power that you can't control when you're angry..."

“Ji Xinglan, you are being corrupted by hell every day while you are in hell.”

"You are getting worse."

"Will I still call you Ji Xinglan here? After all, your name can only exist in this land of exile, you poor thing—"

"Even if I don't interfere with you, you will eventually become my puppet."

"And on that day, I will turn your powerlessness and disrespect towards me into a thousand times more pain, and take it out on everyone you care about."

"I'll kill them all then, and you'll suffer in another hell forever!"

……

"...Haven't I been polite enough to you?"

With her hands hanging at her sides, she steadied herself and stood still, suddenly asking this question.

He still seemed unable to get used to the calm you showed after experiencing illusions and all sorts of ridicule, so He couldn't pick up on your words for a while.

At this moment, He is speaking to you through the entire land of exile, so you are not seeing Him standing before you in the form of [image of Him], but rather with a blank expression, golden tears hanging from His face, and His eyes fixed intently on the gray sky.

“I remember telling you a long time ago that even though you don’t agree with my ideas, I hope we can at least coexist peacefully.”

You narrated this in your usual indifferent voice.

“I’m not asking you for much. You’ve already lost to me in controlling my body. All I want is basic respect. I just hope you can stop putting this useless, coercive mental control on me and stop slandering my friends.”

"I've had so many peaceful discussions with you... so many times. I think I've given you enough patience. What do you think?"

You ask this question as if you're seeking confirmation.

"Aside from the occasional rebuttal, I've mostly been discussing things with you. I've never done anything out of line, which is quite polite for a bastard like you, am I right?"

"..."

"……What do you mean?"

The dragon girl's eyes and voice were cold, which made Him somewhat unable to understand what she was thinking.

The flames burning on her cheeks looked like two lines of bloody tears. Her gaze was firm, but a strange smile played on her lips.

It's like someone who has been suppressing their emotions for so long that their personality has become distorted, seeing hope, or the excitement before an explosion and release.

Seeing hope should be a good thing, but ■■■'s expression made Him feel a little creeped out.

“You were born in a foreign hell, so it’s not surprising that you don’t know about my hometown.”

"But you know what?"

"My hometown..."

"But they believe in diplomacy before resorting to force."